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Get Over Your Ex: A Comprehensive Guide to Moving On and Moving Up

How to Get Over Your Ex

Breaking up with someone you love is one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through. It feels like a stab in the heart, and it’s difficult to imagine ever feeling happy again. It doesn’t matter if you initiated the breakup or were on the receiving end of it – everyone goes through a period of grieving and confusion.

The Pain of a Breakup

When a relationship ends, it’s not just the loss of companionship that hurts. There’s also the loss of shared dreams, memories, and future plans together.

It’s natural to feel sad, angry or depressed after a breakup, but dwelling on these emotions can hold you back from moving forward. In my opinion, there are two types of people who go through breakups – those who wallow in their misery and those who decide to take control of their lives.

It may seem harsh, but staying stuck in sadness for too long is unproductive. Sooner or later you need to accept reality and start healing.

The Need to Move On

If you’re reading this article right now, I’m assuming that you’re ready to move on from your ex. Maybe you’re tired of crying yourself to sleep every night or hearing about how amazing they’re doing without you. We all have different reasons for wanting to move on – maybe your ex was toxic or abusive or perhaps they weren’t ready for commitment when all you’ve wanted was something serious. Whatever it is that led to the breakup, it’s important not only for your own well-being but also because life is short — why waste precious moments feeling bad?

The Importance Of Taking Time To Heal

One thing I believe strongly is that healing takes time; there are no shortcuts. The idea that you can “just get over it” is a common myth. Everyone grieves differently, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for moving on.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do for yourself is to take time to heal properly. Don’t rush into another relationship or try to numb the pain with drugs or alcohol because these are just temporary solutions that will only make things worse in the long run.

Healing involves processing your emotions, learning from your mistakes, and accepting that the relationship is over. It also means taking care of yourself physically and mentally by eating well, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep.

Remember that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes – grieving a lost relationship is a natural process. But if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by negative emotions, don’t hesitate to seek help from friends, family members or even professionals like therapists or life coaches.

Cut Off All Contact

Delete their number, unfollow them on social media, and avoid places they frequent

Breakups are tough, there’s no question about it. And what’s even tougher is getting over your ex when you’re constantly reminded of them. So, what can you do?

Cut off all contact! If you’re serious about moving on and healing, then deleting their number from your phone and unfollowing them on social media is a must.

But don’t stop there! You also need to avoid places they frequent.

Don’t go to the coffee shop where you used to have your morning dates or the park where you had your first kiss. Doing so will only bring back memories that will make it harder for you to move forward.

Avoid drunk texting or calling them

Another crucial part of cutting off all contact is avoiding drunk texting or calling your ex. We’ve all been there: after a few too many drinks, we think it’s a good idea to reach out and see how they’re doing. But this is a big mistake!

Not only are you putting yourself in an emotionally vulnerable state by reaching out, but you also risk saying something that you’ll regret later. So, if you know that alcohol makes you want to text or call your ex, then avoid it altogether until enough time has passed that the temptation is gone.

Why It Works

Cutting off all contact with an ex allows for time and space for both parties involved in the breakup. By deleting their phone number and unfollowing them on social media, as well as avoiding places they frequent can help ease any constant reminders which can make moving forward difficult. It may be hard at first but this action helps establish boundaries and helps one adjust to life without their previous partner.

Avoiding drunk texting or calling an ex is also important as it eliminates any impulsive behavior that can lead to regret. It’s a step in the right direction towards fully getting over your ex.

Focus on Yourself

Find Your Own Happiness

One of the best ways to get over your ex is to focus on yourself and find your own happiness. This means taking time for self-care, personal growth, and pursuing activities that make you happy.

By doing things that bring you joy and fulfillment, you’ll start to feel more confident, empowered, and in control of your life. One great way to focus on yourself is to take up a new hobby or activity that you’ve always wanted to try.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to dance or paint, or maybe you want to start hiking or rock climbing. Whatever it is, find something that excites you and gives you a sense of purpose.

Invest Time in Self-Care

Another important aspect of focusing on yourself is investing time in self-care. This means taking care of your physical and emotional needs so that you can feel your best every day. Some examples of self-care activities include getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, meditating or practicing mindfulness, taking hot baths with essential oils or candles lit around the bathroom.

Incorporating these practices into your daily routine can help improve your mood and reduce stress levels. When we take care of ourselves physically and emotionally, we’re better equipped to handle the challenges that come our way.

Pursue Personal Growth

Focusing on yourself includes pursuing personal growth. This means setting goals for yourself – whether it be learning a new skill at work or achieving a fitness goal – and working towards them every day. It also means examining your values and beliefs about who you are as an individual.

By reflecting on what’s important to us personally , we can become more self-aware and build stronger relationships with others based upon mutual respect rather than simply relying upon external validation from others which we might have been conditioned to expect from our past relationships. This can help us feel more confident, grounded and ultimately happier in our own skin.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Friends and Family Who Uplift You

One of the most important steps in getting over an ex is surrounding yourself with positive people. Friends and family who uplift you can help you see the good in yourself and the world around you, which can be especially hard after a breakup.

They can also provide a safe space for you to vent and process your feelings without fear of judgment. However, it’s important to be selective about who you spend time with.

Not everyone has your best interests at heart, and some may even try to sabotage your healing process or drag you back into negative patterns. Be mindful of how people make you feel when you’re around them, and don’t hesitate to distance yourself from anyone who makes you feel worse instead of better.

Join a Support Group for People Going through Similar Experiences

For Men: Check out Sean Galla’s fantastic article on No More Mr. Nice Guy support groups, based on Dr. Robert Glover’s work. (I actually wouldn’t recommend actualized.org any more, but the other two might just do the trick for you)

Sometimes the best support comes from those who have been there themselves. Joining a support group for people going through similar experiences can provide a sense of community and validation that is hard to find elsewhere.

It can also help you gain new insights into your situation by hearing others’ stories and perspectives. Support groups come in all shapes and sizes, from online forums to in-person meetings.

Do some research to find one that feels like a good fit for you, whether that’s based on location, age range, gender identity, or other factors. Don’t be afraid to try out different groups until you find one where you feel comfortable sharing openly.

Remember that support groups are not a substitute for therapy or professional help if needed. However, they can be a valuable supplement to other forms of treatment as well as an ongoing source of connection and encouragement.

Opinions on Surrounding Yourself with Positive People

Surrounding yourself with positive people during the aftermath of a breakup is crucial for healing. A support system can provide so much to someone who has just gone through a breakup.

We often need people to remind us that we are capable of moving forward and that there is still good in the world. On the other hand, it is important to be selective in who you choose to spend time with.

Not everyone has your best interests at heart. It is important to recognize toxic relationships and cut them off when necessary.

You need friends and family who will lift you up, not drag you down or encourage negative patterns. Joining a support group can also be incredibly helpful, as it provides an additional level of understanding from people experiencing similar struggles.

Support groups offer a sense of community and validation that can be hard to find elsewhere. However, it is important to remember that support groups are not always a substitute for professional help if needed.

All in all, surrounding yourself with positive people can make the difference between healing and staying stuck in the past after a breakup. Choose your social circle wisely and remember that there is no shame in seeking additional help when needed.

Let Go of the Past

Accept that the relationship is over and focus on the present moment

Okay, let’s get real for a minute. Your relationship is over.

You may have had some great times together, but it’s time to move on. If you’re still holding onto the past, you’re not allowing yourself to live in the present moment.

Holding onto what was will not bring your ex back or magically make everything better. It’s important to accept that your relationship has come to an end and focus on yourself and your future.

It’s time to stop dwelling on what could have been and instead look towards what can be. This isn’t going to be easy, but it’s necessary if you want to move forward with your life.

Practice forgiveness towards yourself and your ex

Forgiveness is a crucial part of letting go of the past. Forgiving yourself for any mistakes you made during the relationship is essential for moving forward in a positive way. We all make mistakes, it’s how we learn and grow as individuals.

It’s also important to forgive your ex – not necessarily for their benefit, but for yours. Holding onto anger or resentment towards them will only weigh you down emotionally and prevent you from being able to move forward with your life.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or excusing bad behavior – it simply means letting go of negative emotions so that they no longer have power over you. Letting go of the past can be difficult, especially when it comes to relationships.

However, accepting that things are over and focusing on the present moment while practicing forgiveness towards yourself and others can lead to healing and growth as an individual. Remember that moving on takes time but by following these tips you’ll be well on your way towards a brighter future without being held back by negative emotions from past relationships!

Rediscover Your Identity

Who are you really?

After a breakup, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are as an individual. All the energy and attention is put into the relationship, leaving little room for self-discovery and personal growth. This is why rediscovering your identity is crucial in moving on from your ex. Take the time to explore what makes you unique and embrace it.

One way to do this is by reconnecting with your passions. What do you enjoy doing?

Maybe it’s painting, playing music, or hiking in nature. Whatever it may be, make time for it in your daily life.

Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment can help rebuild confidence and a sense of purpose. Another aspect of rediscovering your identity is connecting with your values.

What do you believe in? What matters most to you?

Spend some time reflecting on these questions and prioritize what aligns with your beliefs. It’s important to have a clear understanding of what values guide your decisions and actions.

Goals for the future

In addition to passions and values, take some time to also reflect on long-term goals in life. What do you want to achieve?

Where do you see yourself in five or ten years? Defining these goals can provide motivation and direction towards creating a fulfilling life beyond the relationship.

It’s important not to get too caught up on what was lost in the past but instead focus on building towards an exciting future full of new possibilities. Setting achievable goals for yourself can give structure to daily life while also working towards something bigger.

Embrace who you are as an individual

Owning Your Individuality

After being in a relationship for so long, it can be easy to lose sight of one’s own individuality. It’s important now more than ever to embrace who you are as an individual, flaws and all. This includes accepting parts of yourself that may have been criticized or invalidated in the past.

It’s important to remember that everyone is unique in their own way and owning individuality can bring about a sense of liberation. Whether it’s through expressing oneself creatively or embracing quirks, being true to oneself is essential in moving on from the past.

Self-love as a priority

Embracing who you are also involves prioritizing self-love. After a breakup, it’s easy to fall into self-doubt or negative thought patterns. However, investing time and effort into self-care can help cultivate self-love.

This can involve taking care of one’s physical health through exercise and healthy eating, but also mental health through therapy or meditation. Prioritizing time for oneself without distractions can help foster a sense of contentment and acceptance of who they are as an individual.

Rediscovering one’s identity after a breakup involves connecting with passions, values, and goals while also embracing one’s individuality through self-love. It may be a difficult process but by putting energy into personal growth post-breakup, individuals can create fulfilling lives beyond the relationship.

Date Again (When You’re Ready)

So, you’ve worked on yourself, let go of the past and rediscovered your identity. You’re feeling confident and ready to start dating again – but hold on just a minute! Don’t rush into anything new until you are emotionally ready.

Jumping into a new relationship too soon can set you up for disappointment, heartache and can even lead to another breakup. It’s crucial that you take the time to heal completely before diving back into the dating pool.

The last thing you want is to bring unresolved baggage from your past relationship into a new one. Make sure that you have processed your emotions, learned from the previous relationship and are content being single before considering dating again.

Don’t Rush Into Anything New Until You’re Emotionally Ready

Take things slow and don’t put pressure on yourself to find someone new right away. Be patient with yourself as well as with potential partners.

Let things develop naturally without forcing them or trying to rush the relationship. It’s also important not to use dating as a way of distracting yourself from your feelings or filling an emotional void left by your ex. Give yourself time to adjust and get comfortable with who you are as an individual before seeking companionship.

Take it Slow and Don’t Compare New Partners To Your Ex

When beginning a new relationship, resist the urge to compare your new partner with your ex-partner. It’s unfair both for them and for you since no two people are alike, and everyone has their own unique qualities that make them special. Instead of focusing on finding someone who resembles or surpasses what your ex had brought into the relationship, concentrate on discovering what makes this person unique in their own right.

Get to know them as they truly are — without any preconceived judgments or expectations based on past experiences. Getting over an ex is a challenging process, but it is possible.

Don’t rush yourself to move on too quickly; take the time you need to heal and rediscover your identity. Once you’re ready, start dating again with an open mind and heart, but remember to take things slow and not compare your new partner to your ex. Ultimately, with patience and self-love, you’ll find someone who complements you naturally.


Getting over an ex takes time, but it’s possible with patience, self-love, and support from those around you.

It’s important to remember that everyone heals at their own pace and there is no one “right” way to move on. However, by following these steps and focusing on yourself, you can come out stronger and more confident than ever before.

Patience is key when it comes to getting over an ex. It’s easy to slip back into old habits or let negative thoughts consume your mind. But remember that healing takes time and it’s okay to have setbacks along the way.

Don’t be too hard on yourself and remember that progress is not always linear. Self-love is also crucial during this process.

Take the time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Try new things, rediscover old passions, and take care of your physical health as well.

By investing in yourself, you’ll not only feel better mentally but also physically. Don’t be afraid to lean on those around you for support.

Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you and understand what you’re going through. Join a support group or talk to a therapist if needed.

Remember that there is no shame in seeking help when dealing with a difficult situation like a breakup. Getting over an ex can be challenging but it’s possible with time, self-love, and support from loved ones.

By following these steps and focusing on your own growth, you can move forward confidently into the next chapter of your life. Remember that healing is never easy but it’s always worth it in the end!

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